you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
