if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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