the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
