i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
