bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
