2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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