Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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