No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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