Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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