you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Less talking, more tequila
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
