She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We are two peas in an std pod
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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