Having a random hookup so left but love u
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
