The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
