Tell her she can't have a vagina
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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