As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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