You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
