I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
