super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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