So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
