then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
