Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i think i just lost a toe
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
