1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
