oh god the rape fog is back!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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