I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
