Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
