She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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