she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
