I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
