You're a womanizer and a bitch.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
