I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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