but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
