There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
