Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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