just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
