i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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