I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
