My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
