I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
