i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize