no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
