i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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