i was born a porn star she said
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
