Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
