One girl and one boy is just not enough.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
