Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have demons in me.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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