I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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