I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
