im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Semen is not good for contacts.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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