On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
