Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
