This girl is more easily done than said...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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