Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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