dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
