I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this boner is exhausting
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
