i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
