We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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