Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
