Me. At least after what I've been through.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
