my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
