And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
