ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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