drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
