Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
