i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
