drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Two words: nipple clamps
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