omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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