And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
