You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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