Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize