My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
