so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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