Buhtt sex?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
