that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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